Wednesday, February 25, 2009

facebook - very informative!

Warning: Read on with extreme caution - This is one disappointed blogger!!!!!!

Facebook. Such a useful page. Great way to catch up on the incidental, insignificant stuff happening in people's lives. I love Facebook - not!

So, I opened my page and noticed my niece had written a comment. It went something like this, "....... is hoping everything is alright with my granny."


Hold on a minute! (as the penny dropped). YOUR granny would be MY Mum. What is going on with my mum?

So, I get on the phone trying to reach anyone.

Eventually my sister calls me back (ever so casually) to let me know that our mum was in hospital. Has been for 3 days now. She fell and split her head and was then admitted to the cardiac ward because her heart was apparently going wild. Apparently she will be there for a few more days yet.

Well, 'apparently' my sister felt it appropriate to ring my brother and tell him who 'apparently' informed my youngest brother who, 'apparently' is over at the moment for a holiday from Sweden - that's right - Sweden.

But 'apparently' mum is okay - if it was anything to be really worried about she would have told me - 'apparently!' And 'apparently' it is no biggy that my brother who I have not seen in over 10 years (because the last time he was over I didn't find out until he had gone back) is back over.

That's good, I replied. I am glad that mum is okay up there in the cardiac ward.

"Oohhh... Said with a bit of resentment', was my sister's response.

"Oh, just a tad", - said I (although I really think she completely missed the hurt sarcasm).

What is wrong with my family?

My mum is in hospital. My brother who lives in Sweden is over in Australia and I don't get any news of these events.

I am so over them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They treat me like ----- well they treat me like I am invisible, unimportant.....whatever!

My sister goes on to tell me that mum has been asking for me but my sister thought it was reasonable to let mum know that she hadn't spoken to me since October.

Why October? Well, sis and I had a long talk in October and I thought we had come to a new understanding of the concept 'family'. She promised that she would make a big effort to keep in touch - you know how important family is? It was her promise so I have been patiently waiting for that 'new' relationship. I have spent my whole life trying to please this lot. I have bent over backwards trying to 'belong'. I have been hurt and abused and let down - big time - but I kept on going back for more.

I thought I had come to the stage of accepting my family for what it was - dysfunctional supreme.

But honestly! How can they give lip service all the time that we are 'family' and then not let me know mum is in hospital and my brother is over from Sweden? Am I dead?

It's just a bloody plane trip for me to go over there! I would move mountains to get there! But.... 'apparently' there's no need for me to know.


And I so wanted to share a good news story.

Not tonight.

Tonight I am sucking up my misery and rehearsing the line ....'Frankly my dear.... I don't give a damn!"

Why don't they just cut my heart out while they are at it?

You know what? I am not going to edit this. I am not going to spell check it or worry about how anyone feels about it.

I am peeved to the max. I am disappointed. I am so disappointed in myself. I thought I had moved past caring that much about stuff I had no hope of changing.

I read about it on Facebook for goodness sake.

Clearly I still give a damn...... sigh!

Tomorrow I will suck up this disappointment and show a little more grace - promise.

P.S - had a great sleep last night. Far out - what a difference a sleep makes. I just made myself laugh - wild, but true (yesterday a snort, today a laugh). Can you imagine the tone of this post if I was sleep deprived? - Scary............

Honest to God - if you guys manage to ride with me through this current part of my journey then I promise you that the coffee crawl will happen and it will be my shout (may even include lunch).

cheers for now .

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

night night

and so the pendulum swings.

Last week I had 3 nights straight of little to no sleep. Tonight it is 9.20pm and I have exactly 10 minutes to make this post, turn off the computer, do my bathroom stop - over, jump into bed and shut my eyes before the coma arrives. Man I am so asleep on my feet.

I have such a beautiful story of success to share with you concerning one of my students - I'm so proud of her. But - the eyelids are drooping and the eyes are doing that glarey stare thing. Catch you tomorrow.

Night night - sleep tight - I have a feeling I will (just enough energy left to smile).

And that now leaves me with 5 min.


Monday, February 23, 2009

The simple woman's daybook #6

For Today.... 23rd February, 2009

Outside My Window

I can see a brand new (well actually - second hand - but as cute as can be) little apple green Daewoo (Matiz) car that has my daughters name on the registration papers and my signature on the bank cheque. Don’t you find it incredible that the minute you have a little money saved someone needs a loan?

I am thinking

I am so glad that I am coming out of the moody blues.

I am thankful that

Some brilliant, constructive, creative, inspiring and collaborative teachers are willing to share their knowledge and creativity through web quests (why invent the wheel - right?)

From the kitchen

I may well have to change careers after this meal. Diced chicken breast sautéed in garlic butter (that’s all I had) with a dash of Smokey BBQ sauce, Dijon mayonnaise (you read right), lemon juice, onion flakes, and sweet chili sauce. Throw in some cherry tomatoes and sweet garden peas - Simmer in pan. Steam up some brown rice - and what do you get? Heaven, that’s what! - Absolutely zing, ping and serve me some more deliciousyumiscious (new word - lock it in).

I am wearing

It’s past tea time so that means PJ time in this house - well for me anyway.

I am creating

I feel so guilty - really, really guilty. Any day now I am going to start the hand stitching on that truly amazing quilt I am putting together (I’m such a slacker).

I am going

I am so excited. Skinny dipping friend and I are planning our next trip. We are going to the Kimberley’s - Glorious!!!!!

I am reading

The T.V guide - sad, but true!

I am hoping

To one day save enough money to start one big coffee crawl and visit all my blogging friends around the world.

I am hearing

I actually just snorted - honest! That’s the sound I just heard. I mean - nothing funny happened - I just spontaneously snorted - just then - I know - too weird!

Around the house

My daughter (youngest) is hiding - possibly hoping I won’t realise she is home and therefore available to wash the tea dishes. Well. I’ve got news for her!

One of my favourite things

Taking that first deep breathe when you step outside in the morning (rain, hail or shine).

A few plans for the rest of the week.

Work, rest and play

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you

Here she is - my new car. I mean Ellisha's new car!!!!

Why not pop over to A Simple Woman's Daybook to read more posts.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

I talked and talked and talked some more.

Today was exactly the kind of day I needed.

I drove up the hills to spend some time with my skinny dipping / bike riding/adventure seeking friend.

We talked.

And talked.

Well actually, she let me talk and talk..... and then some.

I got a lot off my chest. I got a lot off my mind.

I was pretty wound up.

I think I may have used a swear word or two (I know - disappointing really. Please don't judge me too harshly).

We sat and talked and drank coffee and reminisced and then bravely duck dived right into the obstacle course of my minds thinking. In brief - we sorted out some of the problems of my world - for now at least!

My friend -

She can drive me absolutely stark raving mad at times.

We are a complicated pair.

But I love her to bits.

Today we sat and talked and talked and talked.

And we sorted out a lot of stuff - my stuff really.

You see -

I was going to close off my blog (many reasons - blah, blah, blah).

She advised against it.

She is a smart person who is probably closer to knowing me than anyone else I know.

I haven't been able to post freely these last few weeks. I have been stuck. I have been consumed with a restlessness, a sense of inadequacy. Two words ( fraud and pretense) have been whirling around my crammed head.

Today was just the kind of day I needed.

Thank God I had coffee with my friend who let me talk and talk and talk....

I talked myself out of my near miss - pity party.

It was a good day!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

A few questions from Linds

Linds from Rocking Chair Reflections (hi Linds!) participated in a questionnaire and invited anyone who wanted to be interviewed by herself to simply ask. I asked and here is the interview. I must say that I had to really do some intense pondering - they were tough questions and I am not sure if I have done them justice - but here goes!

1. Who, outside your immediate family, has been the greatest influence in your life?

Fourteen people come to mind. That's right 14! My Granny; First Aid Cadet leader and Twelve goody-too- shoe Christian nurses. First my granny - You see my mother came from a middle class family. Her childhood was a somewhat privileged one. Mum was raised in a strict Irish-Catholic family - her dad was a doctor and her mother was a pillar to the community. Mum (bless her heart) married beneath her station. She married a protestant (and managed to get ex - communicated for her troubles). Granny was not too impressed with her choice of life partner and so suggested that if she went ahead and made her bed she had better be prepared to lie in it. Mum didn't do the whole poverty thing very well and life became very hard. So, I was born into a troubled marriage with an internal religious war imminent and extreme poverty. Dad was well on his way to becoming an alcoholic and mum had developed some mental health issues. Get the picture? My telling you this is not to draw sympathy or anything like that (nor do I want it to excuse or account for my own mixed up self) but to highlight the importance of my relationship with granny. So, Granny and Grandad would travel down by train from Birkenhead to Hoylake once a year and collect the grandchildren to go back to her place for a week's holiday. My brothers and sister usually cried until they were picked up early and I was left in heaven for the rest of the time. How can I describe the joy of fresh sheets on the bed, vegetables on the plate (eaten at a table at the same time every day), picnics with egg sandwiches and orange cordial, trips to the zoo, library, ferries, church, parks, Ice-cream, fizzy drink (a very special treat), a bed to myself, hankies to wipe your nose on (instead of screwed up newspaper) ...... so many more insanely beautiful memories. I loved my Granny and Granddad. I loved going to their place. I learnt a lot. My childhood was tough - and that's an understatement - but my granny and granddad were my saviours. They were my balance. They created memories that have gotten me through many a painful day. My Granny always saw beyond my rough, tough exterior and encouraged me to dream. My Grandad understood my inquisitive / creative mind and advised me to believe in myself - no matter who said differently. I could write a book on my memories of Granny and Grandad. I loved them.

Next was my leader in St John's ambulance. A kind, sensitive and insightful woman who understood and recognized that my parents had possibly neglected to educate me in some areas. I remember one day I went to visit her in hospital. She told me a story about a young lady she once knew who was a little shy in her general hygiene upkeep. This young girl did not know how to manage her menstruation cycles and was often teased by her friends for being a bit smelly. I listened intently and recognized straight away that I was in fact that young lady she was talking about. We said nothing more. But I learnt from her a little more about how to care for myself. I was not embarrassed then and am not embarrassed now to share the story. That kind woman saved me a whole lot of pain.

And then there were the twelve Christian girls. I was nursing at the time. I was 21 and out of control. I was drinking heavy, smoking heavy, playing around with drugs and - well - I think you get the picture? I was working in a country town where prostitution was openly paraded and there were 24 pubs on the 1 mile main road. The Church was organising a revival. The Pastor had challenged everyone to ask God to place on their heart a person who really, really, really needed Jesus. They were then to go and invite that person to the revival. So, I was in the wash room ironing my uniforms when a procession of goody- too -shoe Christian nurses came and invited me to some revival they were having. They came one by one and (as I learnt later) had no idea that they were all inviting me. I thought (at the time) that it was a pathetic attempt at bombarding me (a pay back for my bible bashing remarks I used to hurl at them) and was quite colourful in my rejections (especially after nurse number 7). By the time Coralie (nurse 12) came along I was fed up and over it all! I told her (in a rather condescending way) that I'de come. Of course I had no intentions of going (after all it was Wednesday and Wednesday in Kalgoorlie was pub night). It should not surprise you that God knew better. In what can only be described as a series of rather miraculous events I found myself sitting in church listening to the message, that I now realize, I was hungry to hear. For four consecutive evenings I rocked up and listened ( you should have see me - I was overweight with orange hair - David Bowie style - had on a mens lumber shirt with a packet of cigarettes proudly sticking out of the chest pocket - sad!). On the fourth night I went forward and gave my heart to Jesus - Hallelujah! I guess those twelve obedient nurses were pretty influential in saving my life.

2.What are the three most important things about raising a family that you would list?

How on earth do you narrow it down to three? I consider parenting to be a kaleidoscopic experience and therefore the important things you have to address change depending on the needs of the time. If I have to choose three - hmmm - let's see? - I will go for 1. The right to life. 2. The right to be loved and 3. The right to learn. Oh, and I am a firm believer in discipline and firm boundaries. I'll leave it at that or I will be writing a thesis.

3. What is your favourite song and why?

Almost impossible to answer. I burst into song at least every hour. A little line of a song here and then a little line of a song there. I have a line of a song for just about every occasion. And yet - I don't think I know one song from beginning to end. I love to sing and actually have (more past tense these days) a good voice (or so it has been said). I have sung at the Festival Theatre in front of thousands (ok, it was in a choir - still? - pretty impressive - I thought!) and on T.V (many moons ago). But favourites? I just can't remember - honest! Sometimes when I hear a song I'll go' Oh, I love that song!" or, "Oh, how could I have forgotten that song?" The other day I was singing William Booth's (Salvation Army founder), 'O' Boundless Salvation', for the first time in a life time - now that was incredible and I nearly sobbed my way through the last verse. I rather like belting it out with Barbara Streisand (if you personally know her - could you let her know I would so love to do a bit of a duet with her-ta!). I just love singing.

4. If you could be anything in the world, what would you choose to be?

This may sound a little mental - but - I want to be someones bestest, bestest, dearest soulmate friend. Full stop! (I've just rung my therapist for the next available session - ;)).

5. How do you see yourself - as a flower, a car or a food?

I am not sure whether I see myself as any of these. Sometimes I have enough trouble seeing myself as me. (I did say at the beginning I was struggling with these questions). How about a Zephyr (car) because although not necessarily the most attractive model they are strong and sturdy. They are roomy enough to take a lot of people along on a journey. They are reliable and when you see one passing you by they are hard to ignore. Then again -perhaps a sunflower? Bright, open, attention seeker - again - a bit hard to ignore a sunflower amongst the other little flowers (big head? -Moi?). No, wait - I think I'll go for a casserole - a bit of this, a bit of that (experiences) put them all together and what do you get? A wholesome, delicious, interesting, flavorsome, nutritious surprise flavour. Yep, lock in casserole thanks Linds. You never really know what you're getting until you arrive with your bowl.

Thanks for the questions Linds. Phew!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

the promise

Just a quick note to share the brilliant news. THE COOL CHANGE ARRIVED. I am half besides myself with pure joy. And - it is raining (tiny little drops) .

Come on ladies - join me in a ' Yahoo'


Friday, February 6, 2009

have you heard/seen this one?

Have you come across these clever anagrams before?

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

Have you come across this?

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and said, 'I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today.. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood

I choose to be in a good mood.'

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said.

Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins.. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked

He continued, "...the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity''

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything .

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

And then there's this one........

A farewell cake…. from Woolworths.

Make sure you read the story under the picture.

This really did happen.

This cake was for someone who was moving from an Insurance Claims office

Okay ... so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Woolworths Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Woolworths, how can I help you?'

Customer: 'I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Woolworths Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that, 'We will miss you'.

Have a good weekend.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Mind games

Someone (in the weather bureau) is trying to mess with my head!

As you very well know I have been resisting the temptation to whine over this extreme weather we have been suffering lately. I have not over whined about the records we are breaking. I have resisted the whine about the students being kept in the classroom (all day - due to the heat). I have even stoically endured (without whine) the fact that my air conditioner has exhaled its last cool breath and all I got from the land Agent was - 'Sorry - join the queue!'.

How have I managed to stay so un-whiny you ask?

Well -

I have been keeping an eye on the weather through the weather bureau and four days ago they said 44 degrees on Friday then a cool-ish change on Saturday. Then two days ago they amended that and said 40 degrees on Friday (they promised - well almost) and low 20's on Sunday.

Today they are saying 43 degrees on Friday and 42 Degrees on Saturday... WHAT?

Why are they messing with my head?

Don't they realize that I have to psych myself up for these hotties.

Don't they realize that I am dying here?

Don't they realize that I do not like to whine?

My dear friends, I will resist the temptation to utter one little complaint.

And here is the reason why.

Well, I just don't trust the weather man, He/she has been known to get it wrong. So, I reckon I will wake up on Friday, saturday at latest, and run outside to play in the snow.

If that doesn't happen - or if that promised 26 degrees on Sunday does not arrive - then watch out - I am going to whine - and whine - and whine - and then some ;) bad!!!!!

Other than that non-whine everything is real good. I'm grooving with the students - and lovin it.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

and then I opened my eyes

I woke up this morning

stumbled out of bed

Sauntered (or wobbled) to the kettle

for a brew -

then I opened my eyes.

Gulped in some fresh air

plonked myself down on outside rocker

daydreamed for awhile

then I opened my eyes.

Meandered to the bathroom

stood under a tepid shower

contemplated this and that

then I opened my eyes.

Made my way back into the bedroom

saw the bed

lay myself down (for just a tick)

then closed my eyes.


Running late guys.

And yet I write about it!!!!!

It's all good - only a few more days of this extreme heat and then down to low 20's Sunday.

Must go now I can almost hear the bell about to ring.

Have a good one!!!!!!

Monday, February 2, 2009

The Simple Woman's Daybook #5

For Today.... 3rd February, 2009

Outside My Window

Believe it or not - I can see the tree in the backyard swaying ever so slightly. There is a bit of a breeze trying to happen (I am almost beside myself with excitement).

I am thinking

I really do think I am going to be an incredible 51 year old.It’s actually just dawned on me that I am doing 50 fabulously!

I am thankful that

The waiting list for my air conditioner to be fixed is only a week. And I am not being sarcastic here - a week is pretty good seeing as half of Adelaide’s Air cons have broken down.

From the kitchen

The tastiest fried rice on planet earth (bought from an Asian deli). Honey mustard chicken (sauce straight out of a jar) and (shhhh - one hot cross bun which I am hiding from Jenna).

I am wearing

I have to tell you about these fabulous jammie pants I bought today. Smooth, cool, soft, heavenly and very very FUNKY! I am so into jammies at the moment -have been for quite awhile actually.

I am creating

Linds said I didn’t have to hand stitch my quilt until the temp dropped to 36 degrees. It looks like I will be stitching away on Sunday

(one day opportunity).

I am going

(I hope) to see ‘Phantom of the Opera’

(just as soon as I get a ticket).

I am reading

All you Inspirational Bloggers are about it at the moment.

I am hoping

That Ellisha’s car can get fixed ASAP!

I am hearing

‘Meow.... Meow.... Meow....’ (and then there's nails down the blackboard).

I think the cat might be hungry.

Around the house

Two words - creepy crawlies!

One of my favourite things

Just at this moment I am very fond of insect spray.That and -

I could really go a Lindt chocolate right now ;)

A few plans for the rest of the week.

Continue to build positive relationships with my students - top priority.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you

Aliens - right?

They have invaded in their tens, hundreds, thousands, millions even!

Does anyone know what they are - besides horrid?

I can't lie - they are not in their millions - thanks to Baygon ;)

Go check out some more posts at....

A Simple Woman's Daybook

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Almost up to a big whine

Here is a list of the things that I am considering whining about -

1. It's Hot - I mean really hot. It is relentlessly hot. Look it up if you don't believe me. We have just broken all sorts of record - highest temp day in all recorded SA history. Highest stretch of days over 40 degrees in 100 years. The most amount of deaths related to the heat. Not to mention the strain on the ambulance and hospital workers.
2. We (The State) are not producing enough energy to keep the supply on in all areas - so - we are having these little breaks in power usage. No warning, no apology - NO POWER!
3. My air conditioner has had enough and has gone on strike.
4. I have all these disgusting creepy crawly critters marching through my home - uninvited I might just add. They are ugly. They look part cockroach, part cricket and part half - formed tadpole.They have come to join all the mozzies and little black spiders who have already taken up residence.
5. I am not sleeping well - no exclamation needed, surely. My bedroom is like a sauna.
6. When I have a shower and use cold water only I am practically getting scalded.
7. My daughters think they are the only one affected by the heat - don't ask!!!!
8. I spent 3 hours creating some signs / posters for the classroom. When I went to print them off they didn't fit onto the page. I had to start all over again as I had used Photoshop and that fixes the margins.
9. To save the house from exploding in the heat I have not been cooking. However, I have consumed far too many hot cross buns from the fridge - with loads of butter from the fridge. Swilled down with Pepsi Max (from the fridge).

I'll stop now cause I am determined not to whine.

In everything give thanks. I'm gonna be honest - right now - the way things stand - it's a bit of a stretch.

But I'll be right mate!!!!!!

There's enough good things going on that I don't have to whine about.

Ooh! There goes another of those little yucky critters .

I will not whine!
I will not whine !!
I will not whine !!!

He's going down !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1