I woke up this morning and the first thing I heard was a great big (very big - very close) clap of thunder. I snuggled into my doona and enjoyed the experience. Then, the dark cloud ascended on me. Something was rumbling in the depths of my soul. Was it fear? Dissapointment (in self) ?
Depression?
This is me right now
We all know the metaphor - right?For all intents and purposes I am keeping above the surface. I am meeting my childrens needs, I will be there for a friend if they need me (sincerely), I will write my school reports, I will go and celebrate a friends birthday, I will prepare my lessons for next week, I will go for a walk and enjoy this new day, I will continue to eat soup for one more day, I will stay off the scales for one more day, I will look like I am doing well - if anyone should Iask, I will say- I am doing well!
And, I'll be paddling furiously underneath it all.
Draw me nearer, precious lord - to your side - Amen.
4 comments:
I read somewhere that when we feel joy that's God,s gift to us...when we don't feel it..that's when He's asking us to give it all back to Him.
Hang in there Mary. You are a child of God...your self-giving commitment to others confirms it!
Oh Mary, even though I can't make how you're feeling, what you're going through better, I hope it helps even a little, knowing others, like me, understand, and are praying for whatever you need.
Me too - you are being prayed for. Next time you hear that clap of thunder, just remember that when you can't others can for you. And are. Trust. Just keep trusting.
I'm praying too, Mary - just praying that God is keeping you close and that you are able to put it all in His lap. ((( HUGS )))
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