The prison of want - The burden of discontent

The Lord is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want.

Max has started to break the 23rd Psalm down. I like the way he punctuates his message with lots and lots of metaphors - analogies - parables. But more of that later.

The question pounding in my head (over and over and over again) - therefore demanding some serious reflection is - Am I in want? Is there something - that I want, that I crave, that I feel I do not have that may be the missing link to my happiness?

Am I in want? Let's flip it around a minute and ask - Do I have everything I need that will bring me peace, joy, happiness?

My friends, the resounding response needs to be - I am in want!

Remember, I am reflecting and looking at this want issue within the context of things that will bring me peace, joy and happiness. Of course there are things that I have. I have a roof over my head, a car, food in the cupboard, a job (for now), internet (P.T.L), clothes, a few dollars spare for the minor (very minor) crisis, etc etc. I also have three children who have made it through to young adulthood without being lured into alcohol, drugs, promiscuous behavior or a nasty nature. Oh yes, I do have things - and for these I am grateful.

Still, there is no hiding the truth - when it comes to my spiritual well being - I am in want.

Max sets an exercise up - he asks the reader to write down what they think they need to make them happy ( he actually calls it meddling - sweet man). In essence what he is asking is - What do I think I am in want of? What is separating me fromjoy?

Here goes -

I will be happy when I ...

Actually I need to change this a little . I know what I need for spiritual well being. I also know that gaining material things will not be the answer - in the long run. I need to acknowledge the things that make me happy and bring a sense of joy.

I am happy when I am acknowledged.

I am happy when I share with my friends (joy or hardships).

I am happy when I am slimmer.

I am happy when I feel financially more secure.

I am happy when I sing.

I am happy when my children nurture a relationship with me.

As I was thinking of the things that make me happy it was easier when I considered what made me feel sad, or disappointed, or hurt. Many of the things that make me happy , I noticed where dependent on other people. Not quite a revelation - but ...... I need to get this addressed.

Of course the solution is presented nicely, in the scriptures. The Lord is My shepherd.... I Shall Not Want. I get it Max, I get it! When you really consider (and live it) that the Lord is your shepherd then and only then can you feel that you have everything you need - you are wanting for nothing.

So, I must conclude that one of the things I am in want of is a conviction that the Lord is my shepherd. Again I find myself intellectually 'getting it' - but- clearly not 'living it'. There is a block there, for sure.

But why?

Oh, I'm sure that I know the answer - simply put - TRUST.

I find it hard to trust God. I know, that's a pretty big confession (brave move Mary!).

Sure, I trust on a superficial level - but I realize that when you have been expected (from a very young age) to be strong, to be a survivor, to be a leader, then it is quite a challenge to really submit your will to another - even if that 'other' is God himself - you know - the Creator!


Needing some spiritual intervention on this one.

Maybe chapter by chapter - as I read more about the shepherd - I will discover a way to live a life without want. The shepherd being all I need.