Thursday, October 30, 2008

I'm a proud mum


My son (David) went to see the director of the SA film Company the other day. He had emailed them a script for a short film that he had written and the bloke wanted to have a chat. David came home with a firm commitment from the company that they were really excited with his script and that they were going to fund him so he can turn his script into a film.

How proud am I? Pretty proud.

So now he is hiring the crew (some of which he worked with when he was at film school two years ago). I'll keep you posted when it is released.

I'm going to be a famous mum - I mean a mum of a famous person ;).

This is my son - he's pretty excited..


Well done son.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I had a dream

Woke up this morning at around 4am absolutely exhausted. I woke myself up from a dream. It was a very, very vigorous dream. In my dream I was at war. I was having this rather intense argument with some faceless people. I knew that I knew them, I recognized that much - but they had no faces - so I couldn't be sure.

In my dream I was so frustrated.I remember having these pleading arguments (shouting matches really) with the faceless ones. They would not back me up on something really important - I was accused of wrong and they knew I was innocent but they just looked at me and repeated they knew nothing of my innocence. They were not accusing - just refusing to clear my name. I ran from faceless face to faceless face - jolted in the pain of their rejection.

I woke and tried to analyse the dream (I am a little bit of an over analyzer).

Knowing I had to get up to go to work in two hours I surrendered again to sleep.

The dream (which was now becoming desperate) continued. The rejectors remained faceless. My determination to find at least one person who believed in my innocence grew into sobbing pleads.

I felt betrayed.

The alarm went off.

I knew what the dream was telling me - it is time to put a full stop to the hurt and sense of betrayal I have been feeling concerning my work situation last year.

The betrayal was costly. It cost me financially. Worse - it cost me emotionally and spiritually.

So, without fully understanding yet how I am going to get that full stop next to the hurt - and keep it there - I know I must.

I'm hanging on tight to the better things.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Reflecting on better things


These photos were taken from our local jetty.

As I looked at them today (part of holding onto better things) I remembered the amazing, overwhelming realization that God's presence is truly visible for those who see. I remembered the peace I felt. I remembered the promise I made that I would rejoice in His greatness. I remembered His promise to sustain my belief even through the dark days - You won't always get the sunsets.

I am making a list of the things I need to let go of - Where the full stops belong! It's time.

"Sometimes holding on makes you stronger. sometimes it's letting go."

Sunday, October 26, 2008

A renewed determination

First of all I really want to say thanks to a fellow blogger for letting me have a bit of a rant and rave on saturday night. I was feeling a little bit low (putting it mildly) and a whole lot sorry for myself. During our conversation I was (gently - but firmly) reminded that perhaps I needed to let go of a few things and to get a firmer hold on some different things. I really value everything that was said. I was encouraged.

I tried to pray. The tears where often distracting yet somehow necessary. I reflected. I opened my heart a little more.

I slept.

Morning came and with it a renewed determination to get on with it.

Some of the things I want to grab hold of a whole lot more and to find a way to express on a daily basis appreciation. Appreciation for the good things in my life, for opportunities yet to come, for grace offered freely from the one who paid the greatest price, for eyes that allow me to see - really see - His creation, for the invitation to commune with our creator in a personal way, for forgiveness and for still having a pulse.

There are a few things in my life (experiences, disappointments, mistakes, hurts, fears) that I need to put a full stop next to. These things I need to bring before God and allow His guidance and His peace to direct me. I need to forgive some people. I need to seek forgiveness. I need to be forgiven. I need to trust. I need to trust His forgiveness.

Trusting is believing that God will keep His word
And trusting is believing you're every prayer is heard
And trusting is letting God know you're depending on Him
It's feeling His forgiveness within.

Trusting is believing that God cares for you
And trusting is believing just as a child would do
It's like giving your hand to Jesus knowing He wont let go

I'll trust Him because He loves me so.


So that was my prayer today.

Thanks Linds.

Friday, October 24, 2008

One more whine

Complimenting yesterdays post (where I had a few whines about the upcoming weather) is today's update.

The really nice weather lady punctuated these words concerning tomorrows forecast:

EXTREME POLLEN COUNT

DUST STORMS JUST ABOUT EVERYWHERE

AN UNCOMFORTABLE 37 DEGREES

TAKE CARE (her exact words).

No kidding.....

If you had my sinuses you would be feeling my pain right now.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

weather forecast

It would be fair to say that I do not particularly like hot weather, especially, unseasonal hot weather like summer-hot weather- when it is still spring. That's gripe number one!

Gripe number two: I really, really don't like these all consuming, dry, (make that very dry) northerly winds we are so blessed with over here in South Australia. 'How bad', you ask? They have the capacity to dehydrate your skin to a shrivelly, pruney, sandpapery (I know these are not real words - but they are expressive - so they stay!) kind of look - not to mention what it does to the sinuses - or my mood!!!

So, here's the weather forecast for the next week
Saturday      Windy. Late afternoon change.      Max 37
Sunday Morning shower, then fine. Max 25
Monday Fine. Mostly sunny. Max 25
Tuesday windy. Hot and dry. Max 35
Wednesday Hot and dry. Max 36
I was doing just fine until I heard the lovely weather girl announce the GREAT news. Did she have to have that smile plastered on her face?

The mere thought has set my sinuses tingling.

Did I mention that IT IS NOT SUMMER YET?

At least Sunday and Monday look like nice days

I know, I know

In everything give thanks...

It's going to be a tough week.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

My favourite first born had a birthday

On Thursday (16th) it was my eldest daughters birthday. My favorite first born child is now twenty three. Twenty three! Where, oh where have those years gone?

It seems only fitting that I take this opportunity of introducing my eldest girl with a few baby tales.

Full name is Ellisha (no middle name) - a bug bear of hers that comes up frequently and usually in a whinny, 'how come I have no middle name?' sort of grilling! My middle name is Ann but I have never been called Ann, nor referred to as Ann. So that's that and let's just drop it shall we my dear.

Ellisha was a honeymoon baby (thought you might want to know this fact- mmm). Ellisha's pregnancy was very difficult (a thesis in itself). She eventually came into the world via an emergency cesarean. When I woke from the anesthetic I thought the nurse said I had lost her. She said, "you had a beautiful baby girl!", my foggy brain registered that to be past tense.

She was beautiful (and still is) and very much alive. I know a lot of mothers try and suggest their baby smiled really, really early, but Ellisha really, really did. Day two she blessed us with a huge smile (even the cleaner said that it was genuine and not wind).

What a dream baby - well almost. She was, in fact, a finicky little feeder. Took about 1 hour of swapping from nipple to nipple before she would settle for a good feed. Perhaps the fact that I remained excruciatingly engorged (so much so that during feeding everyone else had to clear the room because the milk from unused breast was missile- like.) No kidding! Oh yes, and when she fed her legs were out stiff. Here's a photo to prove it.

She was a fantastic sleeper - sleeping right through the night from 9 weeks. No colic. No grizzles.

What's more no 'terrible two' tantrums (totally forbidden). If it looked like she was about to throw a wobbly I would scoop her up, distract her and suggest that she try another way of expressing her frustrations. She was a rather obliging toddler.

As a young tacker she did have this scary relational thing going on with complete strangers that we happened to bump into when out at the shops. She would approach them, tap them on the leg and say, "I love you!".

Yep, she was really embracing the 'Jesus loves you' concept- with passion ;)

As for the walking. That's a story worth sharing. It goes like this:
By her first birthday I suspected she was just about ready to take her first independent steps - all the signs were there. It came to her birthday and we had a little party. No matter what coaxing methods I used to entice the girl to walk ( my un-cooperative and stubborn first born) refused to entertain the guests. She would stand, stare, then smugly plonk herself on the ground (I stand by the smug look). Anyhow, eventually the guests left and still darling daughter had not fulfilled my expectation for her to be walking by her first birthday. Hubby went out and Ellisha and I were all alone at home. About half an hour after the last person left I was sitting on the lounge having a well earned cup of tea when little Miss stubborn pulled herself up and ran out of the lounge, down the corridor and back into the lounge via the kitchen doors. She was giggling as she did it. I am not making this up. She did not tentatively wobble, nor did she hold onto anything - she ran.

When she came back into the lounge (to be greeted by a wide eyed, open mouthed mother) she raised her hands into the air, laughed, and then plonked herself back onto the floor. Of course I frantically dialed all the numbers in my directory just to be greeted with disbelief. Fortunately (for her) she backed the performance up the next day with a solid little gallop around the lounge - and basically hasn't looked back since. To her credit she got into the finals for the Australian under 13 National Athletics Championships (100 m hurdles and high jump). She still holds the State record for Little Atletics under 17's in the 200m hurdles and high jump. She is a terrific netballer and not bad at basketball. However, please don't make me talk about her swimming achievements - or for that matter, even her style - pretty pathetic - which is sad seeing as I can't run or jump but boy can I swim!

So my favourite first born is now twenty three.

I brought her up proper (honest;)).
Oh well, I guess she is her mother's daughter!!!

Sorry mum!
Happy Birthday my favourite first born.