..................... Spoil the child

I have just finished a two week relief teaching position at a very complex school. I noticed the school had rather an aggressive and bully - like culture amongst the students. Particularly alarming was the language that flowed freely from the mouths of many students (in all age groups). They expressed their fears, frustrations, aggressions, rebellion or work avoidance tactics through loud and offensive language. These students showed no discrimination. Principal, teachers, fellow students, parents were all likely to be subjected to the same response. I could see some teachers were doing their best to address this insult and would remind the offensive student that this was disrespectful etc etc. My observations were that we are fighting a losing battle in our schools.

One particular student had been verbally aggressive towards me on more than one occasion. His behavior was escalating into threatened physical aggression. I followed the school policy and had him removed to the office. The student returned with a lame apology (and an excuse) and was rewarded for his aggression with a 'fresh start'. Many students get lots and lots of
'fresh starts'.

What concerns me is that we are doing these rebellious and angry young people a disfavor by ignoring their outbursts and convincing them that they are entitled to express themselves in an ugly and disrespectful manner.

On one occasion the Principal suggested that the best way to deal with these rude students was to be deaf and blind to their behavior. Apparently if you do not respond to their swearing etc then they will eventually calm down.

Scripture advises that if we spare the rod we will spoil the child. Too many people think that the rod is corporal punishment. I believe the rod is an action of discipline. The best way to help angry youth is to allow them to receive the natural consequences of their behavior.

I believe in fresh starts. I model my teaching on this philosophy. However, to receive a fresh start means that reconciliation needs to have occurred. Students need to be responsible for their actions.

I was at the cinemas today and saw about six young kids being quite disrespectful. They had their feet on the chairs and were punctuating their sentences with the 'F' word. They were acting as if they were entitled to behave this way because they were youth. No one dares to speak to these young people for fear of being bombarded with a mouthful of abuse.

I think we are making too many excuses for rude youth. I think we are not acknowledging enough the young people who are practicing self control and discipline. I think we are letting these young people down when we excuse their disrespectful behavior because they possibly come from a troubled home life. I believe young people who are being abused at home in any way deserve our support. However, ignoring their aggression is not supporting them.

Maybe I am feeling sensitive on this issue at the moment because I have just witnessed the impact that rude and disrespectful students/ young people can have on a community.

I need to clarify here that I am not inferring that all young people are rude. Far from it. I Know lots of young people who are respectful. I will suggest though that for the most part these young people are respectful because they have parents and caregivers who encourage them to be disciplined.

I just needed to get that off my chest.

It's raining

I'm feeling a bit down this evening. Actually, I'm probably feeling a lot down. The weather isn't helping. Usually I love it when it rains. I love the idea of snuggling up under a Doona and watching a good movie or reading a good book or chatting with a friend. Not tonight though. Tonight the rain is adding to my sense of down- ness (is that an actual word?).

I'm in need of a whinge or whine or moan or groan or cry or something!

My feelings of depression are compounded by guilt. I am aware that there are so many people suffering terribly right now. My pain, my misery, my moodiness, my depression don't even come onto their radar. And yet?

I know that I believe in a God who promises to help carry these heavy loads. I know that I could be practicing gratitude right now instead of feeling so low. And yet?

Should I weep and bury myself in my negative thoughts? Should I curl up and sleep and hope that tomorrow brings with it a more positive mindset? Should I get on my knees and beg God to wave a magic wand and transform me into a something that I know I can be, should be, have been? Should I breathe in God's peace?

Should I? Can I? Will I?

Depression beckons one's spirit. Come! Come!

I stand on the edge of a decision.

I will not be a slave to my emotions. I will not be a slave to other's judgment. I will not be a slave to a SYSTEM that does not reward the faithful, hardworking and committed employees.

"Lord, I am feeling a little depressed tonight."

DRAW NEAR TO ME.

The rain is belting itself against the window.

.....now don't you fret now child don't you worry. Don't try to hurry the storm along - the hard times make you strong.

The Lord hears my cry and comforts me.


Tomorrow will be a better day.

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It is tomorrow and it is still raining but I am feeling much better in myself. I honestly don't know what it is going to take for me to get back to my normal strong, survival, bring it on, resilient, bounce back self. Maybe God needs me to be at a place where I get honest about my life. The good, the bad and the ugly. Who knows? I would normally delete this post by now as I am afraid of being misunderstood or judged. However, I am going to leave this post up. Call it therapy.

3 days to the big 50. I have worked out what I am giving myself as a gift. I will post my present to myself on Monday (the eve of the day that will mark the beginning of a fabulous, fantastic, forthright, friendly, forgiving fiftieth year).

Mothers day review

Sunday came,

Sunday went
It's hard to explain
all that it meant.

I'll give it a go
it's only right
So many blessings
a few tiny frights.

I woke up early
(as all mums do)
Cooked my own breakfast
that's nothing new.

Got in the car
to pick up the son.
Ran out of petrol
son went for a run.

Grabbed all the kiddies
went off to church.
They gave out some chocolate
son, got off his perch.

loaded with goodies
off for a drive.
Where are we going?
A picnic surprise!

Out came the camera
smile.... look at that!
Don't take my photo!
You tricked me, you brat.

Nice salad sandwich
I've taught you well.
Followed by a Pepsi
this picnic is swell.

Let's go for a walk
I hear you say.
Not up that mountain?
can't do it, no way!

Blessings upon blessings
I had this Mothers day.
My heart is still smiling
Hip hip hooray!!!!!

It really was a great day and exactly what the doctor ordered.

What a week!

Week one of a two week relief teaching adventure is over and I have survived. I was told that the class was very difficult and had some huge problems. I was told that they did not cope with change very well. I was told that they had 'potty' mouths. I was told that they found learning difficult. I was told that they were all in this class as their regular teacher was the only one who could control them. I was told that there were many angry students, non compliant students and some violent students.

Do you accept your mission?

Lets see. I was called every name under the sun. I was subjected to some pretty threatening body language. I was ignored. I was answered back. I was given the run around by some pretty fast escapees. I was given the 'salute' (several times). I was laughed at. I had a door slammed in my face. Oh yes, I nearly forgot, apparently I am the UGLIEST thing ever born! I was also told I was the meanest teacher on the planet and that I was a liar.

I also received a rose on day two from a boy who had nearly made me cry the day before (no rhyme, no reason). I had three girls come up to me and have a friendly 'girl' chat at lunch play. I had the whole class sitting on the floor quietly while I read a chapter of a book (twice). I should be honest and admit to speed reading!!!!! And on Friday four students (who had added several more clumps of grey hair to my head) came and said 'have a nice weekend'.

All in all I would say that it was a fairly successful week considering the class culture. I will not pretend that it didn't chip away at my psyche. I will not pretend that I wasn't pretty miserable at times. I wont pretend that I didn't pray like I've not prayed in a long time. It was tough. I worked hard. I cried into my pillow one night. I prayed for peace of heart and courage. I prayed that God would reveal His plan for me.

I am praying that God will show me what I need to see and hear and do as far as my future in teaching goes. I pray that He will take some of the pain and disappointments and uncertainties away.
_________________________

Saturday is nearly at a close. I feel (somewhat) refreshed (recovered?). My eldest daughter's netball team won (she's an awesome player). My two daughters and I have just had one of those silly girl moments (laughing, joking, singing and secret sharing). I am just about to put on my brand new flannel PJ's and cuddle up on the lounge to watch a 'girls' movie.

Random rantings

So, I was lying on the freestanding hammock pondering on a bit of this and a bit of that. The sun was shining. The dishes were done. I was in the mood to be entertained but family, friends or even strangers were either too busy or not wanting to play. So, I set myself a little challenge. On the bush (seen behind that rather elegant heel) is a little make- do clothes line (a bit like when you go camping). My challenge was to remove the peg from the line using my toes only. Mission accomplished! I expect to hear a cyber round of applause. If you think it is easy- peasy, well give it a go!

(Please excuse that ugly little pinky toe - it's inherited from my mother's side of the family).



So, my two daughters and I sat down and had a little heart to heart concerning their contribution ( as of late) to home chores (almost non existent). I gave a beautiful little speech. They appeared to listen intently. We all agreed (me freely , them under some duress) that they would pull their socks up and do their share. Now, I am fairly confident that communication is a well developed skill of mine. Clearly I have been under some misguided notion that when mum (that's me) uses the, 'I mean it' voice, it actually will inspire conformity. WRONG!

Truly, it's bad enough daughter is being rebellious. But does she have to lead the cat astray?



Well that's it for now folks!

My deepest desire

Burning , burning, brightly burning
Brightly burning fire divine
Satisfy my spirit's yearning
Fill this empty soul of mine.

Burning , burning, always burning Holy Spirit , stay with me;
To your will my will is turning What you will I want to be.

Burning, burning, deeply burning
Deeply burning holy fire
Now, your perfect plan discerning
Your design is my desire.

Burning, burning, gently burning
Gently burning Fire within
From your love my love is learning
Now I feel your work begin.

John Gowens

I'm going to turn 50 in spite of my denial.

Came across these quotes -

"Remember age is just a number, which keeps getting larger". Is that meant to cheer me up? I have just put back on 10 kg due to this whole 50 thing.

"Age is an issue of matter over mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!" Well clearly I do mind!

"Well - behaved women barely make history - so why don't you be happy, be a little mad, be free, be outrageous, wild and silly?" Been there, done that! The cost is wrinkles, overweight, bunged up knee, guilt and borderline insanity.

"You used to look in the mirror in the mornings and find fault with yourself. Now you have the wisdom to have joy in the living of life." Who writes these things? What joy? What wisdom? I still have a mirror, I can still see!

"The consolation of growing older is that as you lose your mind, you don' miss it as much." Purely inspirational that one!


So, there are 18 more days before the BIG '50' day arrives.

Do I really care about the age of 50? Not really (ok, so that's not exactly true). Although, I am aware that time flies much quicker as you get older, and, as I feel I am not in the right place yet and I have not really discovered who I really am yet, or, what I really should do with my life, or, what my health is going to permit me to do, or, how I am going to be able to discover what I want to be when I grow up - phew - I realize that as much as a turning 50 is not meant to be such a big deal (these days) , it has become one!

Has anyone got a spare 'Time Machine?

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A slightly different way of looking at it would be perspective. Do you see an old woman or a young woman in this image?