..................... Spoil the child

I have just finished a two week relief teaching position at a very complex school. I noticed the school had rather an aggressive and bully - like culture amongst the students. Particularly alarming was the language that flowed freely from the mouths of many students (in all age groups). They expressed their fears, frustrations, aggressions, rebellion or work avoidance tactics through loud and offensive language. These students showed no discrimination. Principal, teachers, fellow students, parents were all likely to be subjected to the same response. I could see some teachers were doing their best to address this insult and would remind the offensive student that this was disrespectful etc etc. My observations were that we are fighting a losing battle in our schools.

One particular student had been verbally aggressive towards me on more than one occasion. His behavior was escalating into threatened physical aggression. I followed the school policy and had him removed to the office. The student returned with a lame apology (and an excuse) and was rewarded for his aggression with a 'fresh start'. Many students get lots and lots of
'fresh starts'.

What concerns me is that we are doing these rebellious and angry young people a disfavor by ignoring their outbursts and convincing them that they are entitled to express themselves in an ugly and disrespectful manner.

On one occasion the Principal suggested that the best way to deal with these rude students was to be deaf and blind to their behavior. Apparently if you do not respond to their swearing etc then they will eventually calm down.

Scripture advises that if we spare the rod we will spoil the child. Too many people think that the rod is corporal punishment. I believe the rod is an action of discipline. The best way to help angry youth is to allow them to receive the natural consequences of their behavior.

I believe in fresh starts. I model my teaching on this philosophy. However, to receive a fresh start means that reconciliation needs to have occurred. Students need to be responsible for their actions.

I was at the cinemas today and saw about six young kids being quite disrespectful. They had their feet on the chairs and were punctuating their sentences with the 'F' word. They were acting as if they were entitled to behave this way because they were youth. No one dares to speak to these young people for fear of being bombarded with a mouthful of abuse.

I think we are making too many excuses for rude youth. I think we are not acknowledging enough the young people who are practicing self control and discipline. I think we are letting these young people down when we excuse their disrespectful behavior because they possibly come from a troubled home life. I believe young people who are being abused at home in any way deserve our support. However, ignoring their aggression is not supporting them.

Maybe I am feeling sensitive on this issue at the moment because I have just witnessed the impact that rude and disrespectful students/ young people can have on a community.

I need to clarify here that I am not inferring that all young people are rude. Far from it. I Know lots of young people who are respectful. I will suggest though that for the most part these young people are respectful because they have parents and caregivers who encourage them to be disciplined.

I just needed to get that off my chest.