What was that all about?

What was that all about? Good question!

Let me try and explain..

The whole down on self thing that was happening with me yesterday was a direct response to having to purchase some clothes.

It wasn't so much that I had to buy clothes (that can sometimes be a womans therapy right?) The problem was I was bringing these huge sizes home (I never use fitting rooms - way too depressing - and who really wants to see a 50 year old mama-whale have a melt down in a cubicle with a thin piece of cloth seperating her from her victims? ).

Anyway I was getting really, really (can I use one more really for emphasis?) depressed because I was skipping a few sizes and was clearly moving into the 'larger' women range. Get real - I know I have slapped on the weight but surely not that much?

Afraid so..

There was a little reprieve in my depression when I convinced myself they were all made in China and they surely used real life manequins for their fittings (have you seen many obese chinese women).

I even felt a tad better when my super slim eldest daughter had to go up one size. Still, that didn't really account for me going up, like, four sizes!!!!

Anyway, I was home feeling like a complete failure (weight is the determining factor for sucess, right?).

Bugger it, I thought. I will just get a big tent, sew a few hippy flowers on it, and take myself off to Sydney regardless of the fact that SYDNEY is, like, THE fASHION empire of Australia. Not to mention that I am going to Sydney with my sensitive youngest daughter.

So, I decided to go with the insanity plea!!

I blogged about it - getting it off my chest.

I left the post for about 30 min.

Then I changed my mind and ran to the computer to delete my embarressing 'Sooky La La' post just to discover it was too late. (Linds, you must have been at the computer as I wrote the embarrseeing blah, blah blah tale.)

The damage was done.

It is now official - I am nuts!

Still, I must say the responses were encouraging and kind - so thanks guys.

And tomorrow daughter and I (along with my flowery tent) are flying out to Sydney for four days (for those who don't know Sydney is where the opera house is and it's like really, really trendy).

The reason for our little trip is a training exercise. My daughter is in training. Daughter wants to go to England next year and as I am the over- protective type of mother and she has langusge disorder, there is no way she is going anywhere until I am satisfied that she is travel savvy.

Daughter (Jenna) has had to arrange it all and she has to navigate us out of Sydney airport to our hotel etc etc. I am there for moral support - although I have threatened to abandon her at the airport if she starts getting too sassy with me. The good news is that we have been practising the non- sassiness attitude and she is almost ready to see it my way!

Hence, I will not be making a post until Saturday ( I didn't want you to think I was having another dummy spit - inserting big grin about here).

Cheers!

Missing person

I was cleaning out one of my drawers today when I came across this photo.



It got me thinking... where is this person? What happened to her? I miss her!


On my search I came across this tag. A hint maybe to what she has become...


Look a little closer... there's a clue

So, she's ten years older, has way more grey hair, wears glasses 24/7 and is forced to wear stretch jeans that flattens the stomach, lifts the buttocks and contours the hips (and really should not be wearing jeans at all ).

Well I guess that's what happens when you put on 25 kilogtams.

Excuses?

Let's see -
End of 22 year marriage
Fall down a mountain side and damage your cartlidge
Develop hypertension after surgery
get stabbed in the back by a work colleague
Betrayed
Unemployed
Anxiety / Depression
Boredom / loneliness
Medication
blah, blah, blah....

I know

you don't have to tell me

excuses!

Still,

today

I miss me.

A touch of bliss

Ok, so this is not me and the bloke does not belong to me, but the chairs are definitely the ones I sat on while I watched the movie 'Wall-e' on Sunday.

You should have seen me. I looked and acted like lady muck!

You get greeted at the door, escorted to your seat and food and beverages are brought to you at your nominated time.

My chair was a little more reclined than the one in the photo. I am telling you I went for broke.

Usually the whole experience is a little too pricey for me - but all I had to do was eat an ice cream ( a real ask!!!!) and then take the wrapper to the cinema for a free upgrade.

How hard was that?

Oh yeah, the movie was quite cute as well - go Australian film makers.

Cheers

For Linds

This award is for Linds (Rocking Chair reflections)

Clearly one of the most fantabulous mums about and well deserved of praise (even though she forgot the coat hangers)

with a big dose of humility.......

I'm back!

Mind you I am back feeling incredibly embarrassed. I really should have gone for the dummy spit instead of the belly flop!!!!!

I have come up with a possible list of excuses for my bloggy tantrum:

1. Menopause
2. Peri - menopause
3. Emotional regression (wind the clock back by about 45 years).
4. Lack of exercise (brain deprived of oxygen)
5. End of school term weariness (totally exhausted)
6. Still not quite used to being 50?
7. Alien possession?????
8. Sleep deprivation (I have had this virus thing for two weeks)
9. Food poisoning (a stretch, I know!)
10 New membership in the "poor me - blah, blah blah' club (giving it a bit of a run!!!!)

Linds, can I take this opportunity of saying thanks for giving me a kick in the bloggy butt. Thanks also for the award

I thought the 6 weird or odd things about self was quite challenging, but here goes-

1. I tap out the letters from a sentence on my fingers until they land on my pinky ( apparently it is a sign of obsessive - compulsive behavior).
2. I get into my flannelet Pj's (summer or winter) around 7pm most nights (too bad if I am going out!!!!)
3. I sing all the time (I do this word association thing - I'll recognize a word that's in a song and belt out a line or two - not always in the most appropriate of places).
4. I'm still not sure what I want to be/do when I grow up (clearly I have a long way to go yet:)
5. I'd rather have chips at the beach than go to a 5 star restaurant.
6. I never try on clothes in a fitting room . I buy them, try them on at home and return if the sizing is clearly wrong!!!!!!

Bonus one: This one is from my youngest

7. I re -do their chores - she says this is way too weird! I say it's an obvious necessity - perhaps linked to the finger tapping?


Cheers.

P.S. Thanks for dropping in Edith - I am not always so..... emotional... okay, maybe (lately) I have been a little more emotional than say normal (for me).

P.P.S I wont be continuing that silly daily theme thing - dont ask me what was going on with that one - a mystery even to me.

cheers!

P.P.P.S After I thank Linds one more time I promise to remove yesterday's Sooky La La moment from my mind.

Thanks Linds

I'm done!

I think I am done with blogging for now. It has become poignantly obvious (well I think it has anyway) that most times I am the only one reading my posts. Actually, I really feel like having a dummy spit but that wouldn't be very polite so I might just take a break and see how I feel.

Thank you for those who have dropped in to say hello from time to time. I have really valued the interest and support (perhaps a little too much).


Cheers!

Worship Wednesday - How much more...

If human hearts are often tender,
And human minds can pity know,
If human love is touched with splendour,
And human hands compassion show,

Then how much more shall God our Father
In love forgive, in love forgive!
Then how much more shall God our Father
Our wants supply, and none deny!

If sometimes men can live for others,
And sometimes give where gifts are spurned,
If sometimes treat their foes as brothers,
And love where love in not returned,

Then how much more shall God our Father
In love forgive, in love forgive!
Then how much more shall God our Father
Our wants supply, and none deny!

If men will often share their gladness,
If men respond when children cry,
If men can feel each other's sadness,
Each other's fears attempt to dry,

Then how much more shall God our Father
In love forgive, in love forgive!
Then how much more shall God our Father
Our wants supply, and none deny!

(John Gowans)

In 1954, John Gowans entered the International Training College (Soulwinners Session). There he met his wife Gisèle Bonhotal who, before entering officer-training college from the Paris Central Corps, was a qualified children's nurse. French by birth and like John's, Gisèle's parents were both officers. The couple were married in Paris in 1957 and have two sons John-Marc and Christophe.

In 1967, the then Captain Gowans demonstrated his writing capacity when, with Captain John Larsson, he wrote the musical Take-Over Bid. This was a breakthrough and hugely popular in the Army throughout the world. It was translated into many languages. Nine other musicals followed this success and John Gowans became renowned for innovation, experimentation and inspiration, whilst always re-endorsing the traditional biblical values on which The Salvation Army rests. He has also written three books of prayer poems under the title of O Lord!

The couple served in different corps in the British Territory over a period of 16 years. When John was appointed National Stewardship Secretary, Gisèle combined her role as organiser of the International Youth Fellowship with work in one of the Army's London maternity homes.

After a period as divisional leaders in Manchester, UK, Lieut-Colonel John Gowans became Chief Secretary and Mrs Gowans Territorial Home League Secretary in France. The couple was then appointed to Los Angeles in the USA Western Territory. Here John served as Secretary for Programme, and Gisèle as Territorial Secretary of the Nurses Fellowship.

After serving as leaders of the Southern California Division the couple returned to France in September 1986 as leaders of that territory. Seven years later they were appointed Territorial Leaders of the Australia Eastern and Papua New Guinea Territory, which included responsibility for the work of the Army in New South Wales, Queensland and the Australia Capital Territory.

In April 1997, Commissioner John Gowans returned to his homeland to take command of the United Kingdom Territory with the Republic of Ireland, and Commissioner Gisèle Gowans became Territorial President of Women's Organisations.

The High Council elected John Gowans the 16th General of The Salvation Army on 15 May 1999. General Gowans took office on 23 July 1999, with Commissioner Gisèle Gowans as World President of Women's Organisations.

I simply love singing John's songs. I was once a Salvation Army Officer myself... one day I might share my story. Meantime I have returned to worship at the Salvos and am lovin it.

Monday Memoirs & Text Tuesday

first off let me apologize for getting behind in my brand new day themes. I am still not 100%. I started writing and then thought
" whatever".

Monday memoirs (in brief) -

When I was a little girl I had to suffer a sister who was one year older, smarter, slimmer and all together rather boring (so I thought at the time). My sister always got away with absolutely everything. I often was blamed (and punished) for things that she had done, One day I'd had enough of her high and mighty ways so I gave her a big push. Thing is she was standing right in front of our half size tin tub (filled with water). Like I said I was pretty heated up and so I just pushed her and left the room. I knew she would land in the bath tub. I knew she would get her pretty little dress wet. I didn't care. She deserved it and that was that.

Unfortunately, I did not realize that her shoulders had jammed up against the side of the tub. So, with her feet kicking frantically out the water her head was secured under water. Mum heard the commotion and pulled her out. I got the belt for my part - I deserved it!

My sister is coming for a visit in a couple of weeks. I guess I had better stay away from all bathtubs.


Text Tuesday -

I have just finished reading the book 'Ghost's Child' by Sonya Hartnett. If you can get your hands on it you should read it.


The novel is a fable-like tale but without a moral resonance. It is a dark novel, a serious novel, a novel about loss and pain wrought from the promise of love.

We are thrust into the world of Matilda and a strange boy discovered in her lounge room. This is a deft authorial construct where we are immediately engaged with a sense of the ethereal. We want to know who he is and why he's there.

But just when we are becoming comfortably ensconced, Hartnett shifts the focus to Matilda's girlhood as Maddy. Her life is told in a largely unbroken monologue, with the boy interrupting from time to time to exclaim and question. We soon discover that Maddy "was easily hurt, deceived and dispirited".

Besides the establishment of Maddy's early family life, Hartnett is quick to present the central conundrum of the book. This is the question Maddy's father poses: "What is the most beautiful thing in the world?" In pursuit of this, Maddy is taken, by her father, across the world to find it. What she discovers is gently, lovingly and sensitively presented to her by him.

Where the fable-like qualities of the story are undeniably present is in Maddy meeting Feather, a youth "whom she had been waiting for and she had not even known". It is the relationship Maddy has with Feather that provides Hartnett with the scope to explore the nature of human love. (Christopher Bantick, Review. )

Review time

So, yesterday I crammed as many pills into my system as I could and caught the train into the city to meet my friend for theatre and coffee. I had considered pulling out because I felt like ........

Being the soldier that I am, and not wanting to disappoint my friend
( I had rung her with my croaky voice to check the details and her response was not,"Wow you sound sick , but rather "You're not pulling out on me are you?"). "Pull out - Me? No way!!!"

My friend was very interested in this particular performance -
LA FIN DES TERRES (LANSEND) as she was a great fan of Phillipe Genty's work and so she was wondering if this peformance would stack up to the very best theatrical visual illusions.


Well, I kind of thought it had its moments. It did have some Wow moments, but for me it had a kind of rehearsal stage feel about it. My friend was somewhat disappointed as well - not as good as Master Phillipe.

So, we went and had our coffee and then my friend pulled out a review she had tucked in her bag.

This is the review -

“La Fin des Terres (Lands End)” is the story of a meeting between two people and its imaginary resonance in the landscape of dreams. It conjures up a series of enigmatic characters, sometimes real, sometimes projected, which will come to reveal secret emotions and hidden histories. On the basis of this poetry, incarnated in animated forms and actors/magicians, which he relentlessly perfects, Philippe Genty continues his captivating and passionate exploration of undiscovered theatrical continents.

From illusion to reality, Compagnie Philippe Genty travels through a universe where absurd, derisive, cruel images fit into a method of association without narrative logic, as in a dream. These images rediscover old wounds, reawaken first fears, first desires and bear witness to our vertiginous within. The Company won the Critics’ Prize at the Edinburgh Festival for dance, though it isn’t only dance, it is a theatre but a theatre without text.

WHAT?

No way! Surely not?

This was Phillipe's work.

All I can say is that either my friend had over rated his work or this particular troupe sent all the way to Australia were apprentices.

Anyhow, the analgesia started wearing off so it was time to go home to bed.

As I was walking towards the car (my daughter came to pick me up) I noticed my foot was sore.

Clearly the pills I had popped earlier had been taking care of all sorts of aches, pains and injuries - now they were wearing off....


WARNING!!!!


What you are about to see is disturbing, I mean real ugly. I apologise in advance. Turn the other way if you feel a bit icky.


Are you ready for the ugliest thing ever ?


Okay.



I hope you are appreciating the pain here. Not to mention the poor , sorry state of my foot.

Hold onto your stomach! Here's the whole foot (if Linds is brave enough to show her knees....) .


Just how scary are them feet? I didn't realize they had become so deformed and old and well, deformed!!!! That little toe looks like a claw! My foot kinda looks like a blown up deformed rubber glove.


So, mediocre performance, one blister and an appointment with nail clippers.


On a completely different topic - I am going to try something different for the next four weeks. I am going to blog daily and have subjects for each day.

Monday will be called 'Monday Memoirs'.
Tuesday will be called 'Text Tuesday'.
Wednesday will be called 'Worship Wednesday'.
Thursday will be called 'Tempting Thursday'.
Friday will be called 'Frankly darling... Friday'.
Saturday will be called 'Sensory Saturday'.
and
Sunday will be called 'Snapshot Sunday'.

Now, on yet another topic - My cat wanted me to put up a couple of pictures of her (since the story she has become quite demanding). Fame!

Feeling a little poorly

Oh me, OH my!

I did something I rarely do yesterday. I took a day off work. I had been struggling with some aches and pains around various parts of my body. I was surrounded by staff and students who were falling like flies with some kind of cold / flu / virus thing. I was hanging in there!

I thought that I probably could have soldiered on if I really had to - but considering the fact that there are no rewards or thank yous for being a martyr - I decided to look after myself - for once.

Oh me, Oh my.

I feel absolutely awful!!!

Man, I tell you, if I take any more pills, syrups, or potions my liver might just chuck a wobbly.

My throat feels like a razor traveled past at 100 km's an hour. I can feel the sinus scorching snot burning it's way down.

I have this wheezy kind of cough that doesn't stop until I am dry reaching. The ball of phlegm just a little shy of being coughed up, which means another bout of coughing within a short time.

The elastic band across my nose and forehead is cutting into my headache. My right ear is drumming out a war dance cry.

Oh me, Oh my.

Question?

Did I get worse because I took a day off (guilt complex)?

or

Am I a martyr after all and really should have taken Wednesday and Thursday off as well?

Still


I'm sure I'll be just Hunky Dorey bu Monday.

I'm off to dose myself up a little more ( already as high as a kite) - I have tickets to the theatre this afternoon. I have my daughter on stand by in case I land on the bed in a coma.

Catch you all later.

Playing hard - paying the price

Saturday

Eldest child lost by one goal in the finals of netball

I declare in an unbiased fashion that she played - like -

AWESOME

Sunday

Went to the Royal Adelaide show

Didn't go on this ride - no way!

Third child went on this ride - the look on her face was enough to put me off.

FUN FUN FUN - NOT !

Now we're talking

( and their routine was pretty good as well!!)

These guys (Zimbabwe brothers) are HOT!!!!!!!

I mean

HOT!!!!!!!


Tuesday

Went to the movies to watch Mama Mia (again)
This time it was the sing - a - long version

Again, without Bias may I say

I ROCKED!!!!!

Wednesday

It's 7pm. I am in my PJ's and am ready for bed
Poor me has a bit of a virus
Sore throat
headache
muscle aches
funny tummy
Stuffed sinuses

Still

It's best to say "I'm fine" with a grin
than to tell you of the terrible state I'm in.

Poor me!

Poor Gertie

Poor Gertie. Poor Gertie feels rejected.

The little short story on my last post was about my turtle, called Gertie, who was lost and abandoned and on a definite path to death. My kids and I rescued her just before she was to be swept away by a big wave on the beach (she was supposed to be wading out to the river). We walked (about 10 km's back along the beach on a 40 c day). We gave her our last bottle of water and willed her to live. She was the size of an Australian 50c piece. We filled the bathtub and placed her in the water. I did not know anything about turtles and so every time she went under water and stayed their too long I would grab her and put her on the ledge. Anyhow, she managed to survive me as well as the big monstrous wave. She now lives in a beautiful tank and is as cheeky as!

Mind you, she was really looking forward to somebody reading her story and having a guess at her identity.


Poor Gertie!

As for me? It's been a good week, all in all. The Sunshine is paying us a little visit (totally inspiring). I actually walked passed the chocolates at the supermarket - I so need to loose those 18 kilograms I have put on since January. If I don't I guess I'll just have to suffer in my long sleeves (no way will I subject anyone to these arms of mine).

Must go.

I'm off to walk around the lake (it's the very least I need to do if I am to stay true to this 'new me' look - I can almost see in my minds eye).

A really short story - Rescue

The sand scorched beneath her as she crawled, half alive, half wishing for death towards the crashing waves. The thunderous roar beckoned her to trust the depth of her journey.

The pains surging through her tiny and partially exposed self made dismissing the feelings of abandonment less likely. What had led her to this cruel, fatal, yet beckoning tide of despair?

The unforgiving sun blinded her vision, parched her veins and thankfully, to a small degree, numbed her fear. Death was so near she could almost touch it. Exhausted she practically willed it to release her from this cruel destiny.

As she felt death’s breath embrace her she, in return, embraced the inevitable. Strangely, her last image before surrendering to the monstrous wave was darkened by a shadow. The blocked sun had no choice but to relinquish its hold on her. Denied of its catch death’s wave retreated and prepared itself for its next onslaught.

She floated, higher and higher and as she did she instinctively retracted safely inside herself.

She hid.

Invisible to the outside elements her parched mind considered the futile notion that if death could not see her, perhaps, it would relinquish its hold.

She waited.

In her dream she felt the drops of cool water trickling on her shield.

She imagined that death would have felt different, somehow.

Shadow was beckoning her to survive this treacherous day.

When she awoke her freedom was gone.

There could be no regrets.

After all,

What is the price for life?

What is the debt for rescue?