Saturday, June 6, 2009

menopausal madness

So sorry for the slackness in my postings. I believe I have a reasonable excuse.

You see - I have been busy - in fact I have been busy, busy busy

with menopause.

Although it has not been confirmed with a blood test - I am fairly confident that I have IT.

If it turns out that I am mistaken - then I am in BIG BIG trouble.

I have checked the list of common symptoms and out of 33 I am confidently and outrageously experiencing 28 of them (possibly a few more but some things need to remain private ;))

  1. Hot flushes - occasionally
  2. Night Sweats - that's a negative
  3. Irregular periods - I am sure that if I still had my uterus my periods would be irregular ?
  4. Loss of Libido - ?
  5. Vaginal Dryness - private (surely)
  6. Mood swings - Now we are talking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
  7. Fatigue - yawn
  8. Hair Loss - by the handful (gone from greasy to DRY as) and it wont hold a colour - sigh
  9. Sleep disorder - goes without saying
  10. difficulty concentrating - what was that?
  11. Memory lapses - where was I?
  12. Dizziness - bolting up fast is a no no (apart from the knee forbidding such a crazy notion anyhow)
  13. Weight gain - why not? It can't all be about my undisciplined eating habits
  14. Incontinence - Please - me and my bladder are in need of counseling
  15. bloating - ankle bloating - does that count?
  16. Allergies - no more than usual (although the cat has really gotten under my nose lately)
  17. Brittle nails - yep
  18. change in odour - well people are keeping their distance - (I wonder if paranoia is on the list?)
  19. Irregular heartbeat - thump, thump thump
  20. Depression - thank God I am not going mad!
  21. Anxiety - a big YES
  22. Irritability - I said YES
  23. Panic disorder - help, yes
  24. Breast pain - rip them bras off in the evening
  25. Headaches - part shares in pharmaceutical company
  26. Joint pain - some days every single joint has a moan or two
  27. Burning tongue - other than burning my tongue on that scalding coffee - no
  28. Electric shocks - now you come to think of it - I believe so
  29. Digestive problems - heart burn counts - yes?
  30. Gum problems - no more than usual
  31. Muscle tension - as tempted as I am to blame meno - lack of exercise is the issue with this one
  32. Itchy skin - I look like a scaly snake
  33. Tingling extremities - thankfully no
The Sooky La La symptom is the one that is getting to me the most. Man, I am so hyper sensitive at the moment that even commercials are causing me to sob.

I have put my coffee in the fridge and carried th milk carton around with me.

The other day some students were playing a familiar tune on the piano - I recognised the tune and bragged that I could also play it - although my version was slightly different. Although I can not play the piano I agreed to give a performance cause I knew (in the recesses of my muffled brain) that I was (hold that thought) pretty impressive with this particular party pleaser. I went to the piano and, horror of all horrors, nothing. It was like I had never seen a piano before in my entire life. I got the first two notes out and then - blank! Of course I laughed it off and made a quick exit to the nearest toilet where I had a Sooky La La moment.

Anyhow, you know what they say - 'A problem shared is a problem....' Oh my goodness- what is the saying?


lakeviewer said...

Mary, it sneaks up on you with a few things at a time; then, bang, you don't know what hit you. Go see your gyn/obst and have him/her give you some respite. One is bad, a combination is dangerous.

Aussie Therese said...

hmm. I know now what I am headed for.

Linds said...

I agree - get to the gynae and get some help. It sounds fairly conclusive (and amusing too, unless you have to live through it in which case it is a nightmare). Take the lot - whatever he/she suggests. Some of my friends on HRT say it has saved their sanity. Not to mention their nearest and dearest. Do not try to be a hero and do without help!

But you did make me grin, my friend. You have a magical way with words....

Crystal said...

Oh, dear! I think help is in order. I know there are some people taking natural remedies - you might ask your doctor about that option if you're interested. I can see why you've been away from blogging but please come by for support and ((( HUGS ))). Take care!

Judith said...

Hello again dear friend,

The saying is "Only women would understand your misery". hang in there.

Nanna K said...

Hi Mary,

I haven't got to menopause yet but I am going grey!! LOL

It sounds like something I'm not going to look forward too.

I hope your feeling better soon and the symptoms ease up.

Have a great week.

Margaret Cloud said...

I know what you are going through, but hang in there, you will be okay. Take care and don't get too frustrated. Have a great weekend.

Anonymous said...

Mary, I'm in much the same boat and I find that the physical symptoms worry me so much and make me so miserable that they totally treble the (already very much there) psychological ones!! I was wondering if you've tried natural progesterone cream (eg Pro-gest) I used to use it years ago, but UK doctors don't seem to prescribe it now. I am flying to Australia next week(WA, to stay with my daughter and her partner for a month)and the dizziness etc is bad enough without 22 hours in a pressurized cabin with no legroom (You didn't mention RLS-Restless Leg Syndrome- by the way!!) My question is - do they sell it over the counter in Oz? Thanks for the great blog!
P xx

Linds said...


I thought you were going to post something!!!

Tap Tap Hello????

Margaret Cloud said...

Stopping by to see how you are doing,

Nanna K said...

Hi Mary,
Long time no hear! I'm glad you dropped in to say 'hi'

How have you been?, I hope all is well.

I'm glad you like my header, I love Gary Birdsall's art. We just bought a print off him, it's awesome and the great thing is he only lives around the corner from us so no postage costs, lol!!!

I miss reading your posts but it must be hard to find time while your teaching.

Again it was great to hear from you,
Have a great weekend,