Embracing all kinds of things

A word that won't leave me is....
EMBRACE
So, I am going to embrace that word as the word to see me through this year.

I have recently embraced approx 17,000 bees that decided to make the rosebush, outside my bedroom window, their new home.

"Mum, there are some bees outside."
"Whatever!"
"MUM, there are quite a few bees outside!!!"
"What part of 'whatever' are you having trouble with?"
"The part that suggests there are LOTS and LOTS of bees outside!!!!!!!"
So, I went and had a look and this is what I found.

Take a closer look



















After I both freaked out and apologized to Ellisha for my flippant response I decided to have a go at embracing the situation. Having never had to deal with such a thing before it took a little while to get the embracing part organized. Problem is, the council is flat out just killing them (problem solved as far as they are concerned) oblivious to the fact that the loss of our good bees is having a negative impact on our agriculture. I Googled and Googled and Googled, eventually stumbling on a phone number. Helga answered and after I explained to her the approx size of the nest, she says, 'I vill be there in vorty minutes. Dey must go. I vill be there in vorty minutes".

Helga was very impressive.
She assured me that she had collected about 16,000 along with Queenie. The remaining 1000 or so would fly away within the hour (fly away and die).
And they did!
Helga will quarantine the bees for 6 months - if there is no disease she will put them to work. If diseased the department of agriculture will destroy them.

Another thing I have embraced lately is  - bush fires.

South Australia and Victoria were on extreme bush fire alert last week. The temperatures were ridiculous. The land is dry and the trees are ready to burn.

I received a phone call putting me on standby (I am on the emergency relief team for the Salvos).
I had no sooner uttered the words, "I am bored" when the phone rang.
"Are you free? Pack an overnight bag, We are responding to a fire in the hills.Be at the warehouse in 20 min."
This was my very first call out. The fire had been burning for about 5 hours and the firefighters needed feeding and looking after.
That's my job -  to feed em.
Stopped feeding at 2am. Fire contained. Stood down.
And as I am embracing reality - I have even got a picture to share.

I am flat out embracing packing the house ready for the move. I am also trying really hard to embrace the uncertainty of work.  3 days before teachers go back and I have not had the phone call yet. I am tempted to feel all jittery and nervous. I choose not to embrace the negative. I am being looked after. I am in His care. He knows my needs. I am grateful for all I have.

After going to the doctors, I have been told (in no uncertain terms) that I need to embrace a low fat diet STAT! I have 22 kilos to lose (again - sigh).

Oh yes, and a bit of an update with the hormones. I am typically (for me) atypical in my pursuit of menopause. Out of the three major hormones they measure. I am peri in one. All finished and dusted on another. And flying high with the third. So, doc said I can pick and choose which status I would like to be.

I would like to thank Kym from Nanna's cottage for the Lemonade stand award. I would like to pass it on to any of my friends who would like this beautiful award. "It is to be awarded to bloggers that show great attitude and gratitude."

Well, must go. Lots to do.

Being Ok with less than perfect.

Once upon a time, quite some time ago, a wanna - be -quilter began a new adventure

I chose the colours with what can only be described as manic zeal.

and then rested.

Saint Linds prompted, prodded, tutored and threatened me until I had actually sewn the strips together.

 and that was as far as I got!

 Until.........

Just last week, as I was going through my 'stuff', I stumble upon my masterpiece.

What to do?

In the driveway was a trailer ready to take my unwanted 'stuff' to the rubbish tip.

Thinking I had Buckleys chance of actually finishing it - and considering the fact that I hadn't blogged for 6 months (and nobody would know) onto the 'out 'pile it went.

Guilt and a sense of unfinished business set in.

There was a lesson in this for me.

So, off to my friend Roses' place me and my unfinished quilt went.

It is timely for me to inform you that Rose has on her resumes, 'seamstress'. True to say that there have been many a time when Rose has rescued me (taken over) as I have remained tight lipped and allowed people to believe that I could actually sew.

Hold on!

That is not the exact truth. I suspect I can sew. But I don't get any joy from it and ultimately go for the give - in (sabotage) approach.

I really want to enjoy it.

I feel I should enjoy it.

But alas -

I don't!!!!!!

So, I am at Rose's place when she seeks reassurance that it is me not her about to sew. I assure her I am. My plan is to rip through it on the machine. What will be, will be. I am going to be ok with the outcome.

My plan is to embrace the obvious.

Embrace the faults in my quilt (add a few more even) and celebrate completion in spite of perfection.

And so - another drum roll please...........

The imperfect quilt.

and I am ok with that!

What next? - let me see!

 I just might try crocheting - only kidding Linds ;)

Long time - no post

I have some good news and some bad news.

First for the good news - Drum roll please......

Apparently - I am not - I repeat - am NOT going through the beastly 'menopause'.

(pause - allow time for the hip, hip hoorays)

And so - without further ado - I will launch straight into the bad news.........

If it wasn't menopause - then - boy, oh boy these past few months have been one hell of a good dress rehearsal.

It would appear that I have been part of a hormonal awakening.

You see, about 20 years ago, at a tender age of 32, it was necessary for me to have a hysterectomy. They left one badly damaged ovary (some small compensation. Year after year I had blood tests that came back with a diagnosis of Peri - menopausal. So, one just assumes that eventually you will actually reach the stage of being menopausal - right?

Nope. Not the case at all. I am up and riddled in hormones.

Rather than feeling relieved that I was not menopausal I was (and still am) rather peeved actually. I mean to say, honest to Betsy, the way I have been behaving fits quite nicely into some sort of menopausal madness. People have been excused of all sorts of random and hysterical behaviors under the banner of menopause.

Poor me - it would appear that all I can use in my defense is a large case of the 'dramatics'. That and boredom. And empty-ish nest carry on. Perhaps I could use, at a pinch, abundance of creativity?

Let me see now - What else has been going on in my 'non - menopausal' world?

1.Put on 13 kilos (post my fantabuloso effort of losing 16 kilos).

2. Challenged myself to a 30 day eating healthy program and lasted well over 12 hours (by the way, please hold your applause till all my bragging is done - ta).

3. The cranky knee has been doing alright lately P.T.L

4. My son decided to go to Canada to work. When he left (without the necessary amount of money) (I need to clarify that - without the necessary amount of HIS money)he was unsure for how long he would be away. He had a job lined up - cleaning Jacuzzis in some resort. Didn't work out. Became homeless for a minute or two. Landed on his feet. Hates the fact he uses all his 'talent' to work for a poultry $9 an hour (in Australia he would be paid $23 an hour). Feels cheated that he does not have enough time or money to hit those ski slopes as often as he thinks he should. Bless him. I really hope he learns what he needs to learn about life and himself and his walk before he actually spends all my hard earned money.

5. First born daughter has a boyfriend. They are talking serious. I am doing a Steve Martin.

6. Last born daughter got her drivers license. Has a bomb of a car. Enjoys the new found independence.

7.I am fairly confident that I have a teaching position for 2010. I am waiting on a phone call - but it looks promising. The class has a high intake of New Australians - predominantly from Sudan.

8. After enduring 3 months of house inspections (up to 3 a week) - we now have to find a new home as the owners decided (after assuring us they wanted us to stay as tenants) that they need the property for some family members who are in need. The rental market is low at moment. We went to look at one today - and all I can say is - pink is definitely NOT my colour ;) We did see one we liked and have put an application in. So, we will see. At this stage I am not panicking (curious, but true).

9. Next week it should have been be my 25th wedding anniversary. I need to come clean to those who may not actually have cottoned on to the fact that I am separated. My marriage ended nearly 4 years ago. I am needing final closure. When I was stomping through my 'non - menopausal' period, I seriously considered making my anniversary date my divorce application date. Always the need for dramatics - sigh!

10.It is Very, Very, Very HOT (41 plus)and I am very, very, very over it. It has been 3 days now, lol.

What else? Oh yes.

11. I finished the quilt. Now before you say,'well done! or bestow upon me congratulatory praises - I need to fess up to my shocking cheating methods.

Iusedthesewingmachinetofinish.

I am extremely proud of, and somewhat in awe of, two of my corners. I didn't cry once. And do you know what? I can live with my pathetic-ness. I really can. (If I get any requests I will post a picture).

well, chow for now.

menopausal madness

So sorry for the slackness in my postings. I believe I have a reasonable excuse.

You see - I have been busy - in fact I have been busy, busy busy

with menopause.

Although it has not been confirmed with a blood test - I am fairly confident that I have IT.

If it turns out that I am mistaken - then I am in BIG BIG trouble.

I have checked the list of common symptoms and out of 33 I am confidently and outrageously experiencing 28 of them (possibly a few more but some things need to remain private ;))

1. Hot flushes - occasionally
   
2. Night Sweats - that's a negative
   
3. Irregular periods - I am sure that if I still had my uterus my periods would be irregular ?
4. Loss of Libido - ?
5. Vaginal Dryness - private (surely)
6. Mood swings - Now we are talking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
   
7. Fatigue - yawn
8. Hair Loss - by the handful (gone from greasy to DRY as) and it wont hold a colour - sigh
9. Sleep disorder - goes without saying
10. difficulty concentrating - what was that?
11. Memory lapses - where was I?
12. Dizziness - bolting up fast is a no no (apart from the knee forbidding such a crazy notion anyhow)
    
13. Weight gain - why not? It can't all be about my undisciplined eating habits
    
14. Incontinence - Please - me and my bladder are in need of counseling
    
15. bloating - ankle bloating - does that count?
16. Allergies - no more than usual (although the cat has really gotten under my nose lately)
17. Brittle nails - yep
18. change in odour - well people are keeping their distance - (I wonder if paranoia is on the list?)
19. Irregular heartbeat - thump, thump thump
20. Depression - thank God I am not going mad!
21. Anxiety - a big YES
22. Irritability - I said YES
23. Panic disorder - help, yes
24. Breast pain - rip them bras off in the evening
25. Headaches - part shares in pharmaceutical company
26. Joint pain - some days every single joint has a moan or two
27. Burning tongue - other than burning my tongue on that scalding coffee - no
28. Electric shocks - now you come to think of it - I believe so
29. Digestive problems - heart burn counts - yes?
30. Gum problems - no more than usual
31. Muscle tension - as tempted as I am to blame meno - lack of exercise is the issue with this one
32. Itchy skin - I look like a scaly snake
    
33. Tingling extremities - thankfully no

The Sooky La La symptom is the one that is getting to me the most. Man, I am so hyper sensitive at the moment that even commercials are causing me to sob.

I have put my coffee in the fridge and carried th milk carton around with me.

The other day some students were playing a familiar tune on the piano - I recognised the tune and bragged that I could also play it - although my version was slightly different. Although I can not play the piano I agreed to give a performance cause I knew (in the recesses of my muffled brain) that I was (hold that thought) pretty impressive with this particular party pleaser. I went to the piano and, horror of all horrors, nothing. It was like I had never seen a piano before in my entire life. I got the first two notes out and then - blank! Of course I laughed it off and made a quick exit to the nearest toilet where I had a Sooky La La moment.

Anyhow, you know what they say - 'A problem shared is a problem....' Oh my goodness- what is the saying?

quotes

As long as we have memories,
yesterday remains.

As long as we have hope,
tomorrow awaits.

As long as we have friendship,
each day is never a waste.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Have you had a kindness shown? Pass it on; ‘Twas not given for thee alone, Pass it on; Let it travel down the years, Let it wipe another’s tears, Till in Heaven the deed appears, Pass it on.
Henry Burton

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

and to conclude for now...

The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people half way.

Scaredy cat...

That's me.

I am so embarrassed! Actually, I am mortified! Well actually I am incredibly ... scared!

I am pacing. Literally, right now, as I type, I am pacing the room. I am pacing up and down the hallway. I am pacing and sweating. My heart is racing. Have I mentioned I am pacing? Scared? Embarrassed? Mortified?

Why?

How embarrassing..

Well, you see, I went into my bedroom to get into my pj's.

Hoping to save on a little power I groped around in the dark to find the bedside lamp. I felt something creep over my hand.

Somehow holding onto my last moment of sanity I found the switch and brought forward some light.

Scurrying away was this great big, ugly, hairy, black, plump, eight legged monster.

I am not exaggerating - it was definitely... Hold on, I have no idea why I am using past tense? It is still big, plump, hairy..

It is still in my bedroom.

I am freaking out here!

There is no way I am going to bed tonight - NO WAY!

I am almost crying here!

There is an eight legged monster in my bedroom - somewhere.

I do not care that it is quite likely it has been there for awhile.

My scalp is now itchy.

Add that to sweaty palms, racing heart and pacing.

I can't take much more!

Ok, I'm going in...

I have gathered many, many different kinds of ugly, hairy, plump, eight-legged monster- killing
thingamabobs.

Weapon of choice - vacuum cleaner.

I may or may not be back..


Wish me well........

A Soldier .......

That was me in 1983. I was about to be commissioned as an Officer (Lieutenant) of The Salvation Army (I know, it is a bit hard to believe...)

Seems like a life time ago! A lot of water etc......

Tomorrow I am standing before the Officers and soldiers at Ingle Farm Corp (Adelaide) and becoming a salvo (again).

I first became a soldier in Kalgoorlie in 1980. I was a brand new Christian. Within a year I was off to College where I trained to be an Officer (two years). I was ordained, commissioned, given an appointment and was off and running.

Things don't always turn out the way you think they will.

In 1987 I resigned from Officership and attempted to continue to worship with the Army.

But, by 1991 I had left the army feeling betrayed, angry and hurt.

For many years I solely blamed the Army for 'letting me down'.

Boy was I bitter!!!!!

It has been a long journey back.

Different churches.

Different experiences.

Different highs and lows.

Last year I walked back into a corp.

I wanted to be invisible.

I was invisible for some time.

Lots of things had changed.

Thankfully the hat had gone ;)

Slowly, the healing began.

Slowly, I started to recognise the importance of belonging to a spiritual family.

The importance of committing.

The importance of having a place which will help you be accountable in your walk.

The Army, in principle, holds you to a high standard. And so it should.

After all, it is not asking of me anything that God has not already asked and in fact empowered me to be.

So, tomorrow I will sign the articles of war and I will be a soldier of The Salvation Army.

Hallelujah!


P.S. I will not be wearing uniform for the time being - so there will be no update photo ;)